American Road Cycling

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Members Mail Answered

Date:      07/13/2005
Dan Sullivan
Subject: Snacking on Frog legs

Original Submittal:

How did Frenchy Latrine do?



Apparently the photo of Paul on the home page (stolen from a French web site in true American Road Cycling jingoist fashion and reprinted above) captioned with a notice that Paul is shown on the Etape Du Tour in the process of kicking about 3,000 Euro-butts while wearing his Official American Road Cycling Jersey jersey, did not tell enough of the story to suit Mr. Sullivan's taste for tales of horror. Here's the gritty.

The race was outlined thus, "No fewer than 238 women will participate in the event. 44 countries will be represented: 6,302 French riders (including the four-time Formula 1 World Champion Alain Prost), 1,764 British riders, 186 Americans, 43 Canadians, not to mention competitors from Japan, Belgium, Irland, Chile, Argentina, China, Bermuda…"

The final tally showed 7,885 finishers while 643 dropped out trying to deny Monsieur Latrine the sweaty fruits of his labor. That however, served them nothing, because we are counting them as whupped anyway.

So nos Frere Latrine actually slapped silly 4392 various and a sundry competitors, and it only took him 7h 48' 2" to do it. If he'd tried a little harder, he could probably have taken off the 2", but he most likely lost his concentration whishing he had SlingShot along for the ride in order to give him somebody to pace just ahead of, while wishing Dan Sullivan himself was there pulling his mangy ass along like a freight train as usual.

By the way, American Road Cycling is betting that not one of the people Le Paul beat was a woman, because it is a known fact that Paul can't beat girls, even on Angola Road—which is at least 10 degrees flatter than whatever climb he is shown on above. Or at least that's what Mary says (both of them) unless of course one of the Mary's cracks and goes off cackling like a hen in labor about how much she hates everybody on the ride, such like, "I hate all you fuckers. Look, I'm just an old woman. I'm not Humberto, you know. Fuck all of you. I've got my own fucking Gu Gel. Get the fuck away from me." But that's another story, a prequel actually.

The careful reader will note that only 186 Americans fielded an attempt, while Chile and Argentina are mentioned separately, which would imply those countries have dropped out of America until Lance stops showing up for races. Guess it's starting to catch on, that is to say Paul's good sense and efficient use of his time, wherein he does only a single race a year, and beats more people in one day than Dan Sullivan has ever gotten around in his lifetime, has spread to more people's training routine than just that Lance character.

In any case, Paul really enjoyed his favorite dish of Frog legs. In fact he sent a missive, "Finished the Etape. Stop. It sucked. Stop. It was VERY hard and long climbs. Stop."

Elsewhere Paul has been quoted, "My Widdle Weggies Huht!"

He probably didn't beat that guy in the Formula 1 car either.

Follow-up: On Paul's return to the U.S. he reported that he noticed a French spectator on one of the harder climbs very excitedly poke his friend's arm and repeat, "American Road Cycling, AMERICAN ROAD CYCLING!"

Thus we have extended Paul's credits from merely helping provide National prominence to American Road Cycling, but now fully International prominence...even though we suspect the jersey did help bring that along.

On their return from France, we had Paul and Liz drive up Kain to compare it to this year's Etape du Tour race he completed. He reports Kain is steeper. His big climb was like the first part of the big hill off 208 coming North out of Washingtonville on the Silence of the Lambs ride--only it went on for 2.5 hours. Even the Hors Categorie climb was less steep. Though it had moments as steep, none of those moments lasted as long as Kain. He also said the ice cream was better at the top of Kain.

this page last updated:
08/04/2013 07:46:47 AM

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