We finally figured out a way to trick Lauren & Michele into coming over, so we could pick their brains and go for a record attempt of a double googly eyeing.

The problem has always been we only have one set of goggles for googling, so everybody's ogling has been restricted by our lack of a grouping of googling goggles.

That being said, we did the best we could, and we got all our questions answered.

Michele told us right away that our dog is fat, and we had been wondering about that for some time. We have also been wondering if SlingShot is fat, but there was no comment on that.

Then Lauren pronounced Egoscue (i.'ga.sku) for us and showed us that knees forward is the key to resolving the foot fall disparity between Egoscue 1992 and Brourman 1998. [See the reference list for Cycling Performance Simplified.]

Lauren also cleared up the Egoscue 1992 description of the Gravity Drop which adds a poorly described scapula exercise. That part of the exercise never made a whole lot of sense to me, because it clearly diverges from the bilateral fundamental. Plus, it seems to have been lost from everything I can find about Egoscue online. It is also not in his own second book.

In any case, leave out the scapula portion if you are using Egoscue 1992, and remember to find a practitioner to help you sort out the irregularities in the text. Just make sure the practitioner you choose always makes it a habit to call basic Hatha yoga asanas: E-cises.

Finally, I told Lauren my thoughts about why the hip rotation issue is difficult: because your hip does not have an actual rotator muscle. Anything called a hip rotator actually rotates the leg against the hip, but there is nothing that rotates the hip simply and directly like the bicep curls the arm.

She agreed and went on to say that she always has a hard time explaining to her patients that the hip is not a monolithic bone but is actually articulated right and left. She knew Mary and I would not need to be told, because we know stuff like that... but we didn't.

In fact, that should probably be a whole book in itself—titled something like: Your Hips are Not Your Hips, or possibly just: Your Hip is Not.

I'm sure Lauren has started on that book, because she is sick and tired of explaining it to people.

Then Michele went off on a tangent about some cockamamie idea about how Cancer is a Fungus, and how there are at this very moment therapies used in veterinary medicine given as a food supplement based on some something or another from some root or another, and it has pumped up Michele's cure rate from 5% to closer to 25%.  There was also something about an injectable baking soda cure.

All of which information I wouldn't give you a plug nickel for, if it didn't come to me like the Pilates stuff after I had always considered it absolute bullshit, since I always heard it coming from the mouth of a so called health professional who believes breast implants and lipo-suction coupled with an eating disorder is the one true path to well-being, but when the word Pilates came out of the mouth of my dental hygienist... I tracked down the original writings and found out I had already read them when I was 14, and that's why I always thought, "What is the big deal with this Pilates nonsense. It is just calisthenics, or maybe Yoga moving like Tai Chi at best. Besides, it seems like most people like saying the word a lot more than they like doing the exercises anyway."

In any case, when something comes out of the mouth of your dental hygienist (who helps you take care of these), you figure she knows something about mouths and wouldn't let something into hers that shouldn't be there.

It's the same thing with this Cancer is a fungus that can be cured with baking soda idea.

I mean, Michele noticed right away that our dog is fat, and she also knew better than to mention SlingShot is fat too, so she's not a total idiot.

Also, lets just say it was true, that you can cure cancer with baking soda or an herbal root supplement. We live in a world where people are shown two video frames of the finish of one of Michael Phelps' Gold Medals and told it proves he won it, when obviously it does not show anything at all, but people believe it must without question, because somebody in authority said so.

How likely is it is that something like this Cancer is a fungus concept could ever  get past the, "We've got a whole fucking lucrative industry goin' with this cancer stuff, so you just better get your simple-ass cure all the way the fuck up and out a here!" people.

Personally, I have enough trouble just trying to get people to believe watts is watts is watts, and that's not even a question in most parts of the world, at least the parts with real school systems.

Plus, I know for a fact there is no wind and there are no hills, but people think I'm crazy when I mention it.

So we took some photos.

Unfortunately, Mary is a piss poor photographer, so she missed getting the shot of the lesbian flashing her tits, but that has never stopped us before, and it ain't stopping us now.
 

Psst! Michele... I wouldn't.

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

Look, Michele! I can see right through Mary's shirt.